I admit I am less than a month into this whole L.A. Adventure 2.0 thing; which means that I am that far into the process of pursuing acting roles in Los Angeles. My guiding philosophy has not been to seek fame or riches but rather simply opportunities to do what I enjoy and hopefully meet interesting people and find cool projects and experiences in the process. Believe me, if I break even on the investment in headshots, listing services, gas and parking for auditions and rehearsals, and having to buy things like extra-large black tights (first time for everything), that would count as huge financial results to me.
So far I have landed the roles in Much Ado and the 24-Hour Theater Project. I had an audition for a web series that I kind of tanked – I didn’t show up adequately-prepared and the director’s requests exposed my inexperience with camera acting. And I just got back from another stage audition – this thing would provide a little money; not enough for the hours it will ask really, but a significant contribution towards recouping all those expenses above. But more importantly, everything I know about the project – from the venue to the performance style to the people involved – would be really damned cool to land with so soon after starting out.
I think the piece plays to my skills, and I feel like the audition went well. I showed up early, was confident, prepared, and relaxed. That’s all I can control, really. They invited me in the door and I believe I proved that I could do what they’re looking for. The rest is their own vision for the piece and whatever ephemeral impression I made; and I’ll know in a couple of days.
As I look at the youth-and-hotness-obsessed casting notices – hell, as I just look at the inhumanly well-sculpted people at the cafes and bars – I can see so clearly the path to griping about the genetics that gave me this face, or the gray pockets in my beard, or the limited freedom I have to chase this stuff when Rent Must Be Paid.
But I think what’s really happening when that stuff drags you down there is confusion over goals. If you know what you want, a lot can slide off your back. And, like I said, being rich and famous is just not what I’m setting out to do with this acting thing. That takes such a perverse combination of obsession and luck, and with acting ultimately subordinate to my writing goals it just doesn’t make sense to pursue.
Since I took up acting again in Orange County, I’ve done work I’m really proud of, met marvelous people, and had uncountable amounts of fun. I may be 35, in sub-athletic shape, have no camera acting training and gray in my beard; but, like I said, I’ve been less than a month at this edition of the Hollywood Go-Around and I’m already getting something of what I came for. And I don’t think it’s because I’m some kind of awesome actor. I think it’s that I know my skills, find projects that suit them, show up when called and conduct myself professionally when I get there. That stuff matters.
It could also be that this is the luckiest I ever get in L.A. Part of living here is accepting ice-cold possibilities like that.