So I have a gym membership once again – I had only been to the gym once this year, over a month ago; and had not visited much in the weeks prior to that. Last week I activated the new membership and got to work – full workouts on Wednesday and Friday, some nice walking around on Saturday, and then another full workout last night. This morning I woke up to weigh myself and do some WiiFit yoga…
New record.
Okay, it’s only 0.2 pounds below the lowest weight I logged last year, and because I haven’t been as regular with the weigh-ins, it’s hard to say where this lands on the trendline. But clearly, we’re in a pretty good place.
I noticed something startling after that first gym workout – my appetite. I’ve come to recognize the change in my body’s hunger signals once my metabolism starts to adjust to regular workouts. It is ferocious and mighty, and I truly enjoy that sensation now. My gym is in a shopping center with a long row of restaurants that all like wafting their odors into the courtyard. Walking that aroma gauntlet after a workout is intense; honestly, the only thing that gets me to my car is not wanting to out-stay my parking validation. But I expect that sensation to take a couple of weeks of steady work to re-activate.
The startling thing was, though, that after that workout on Wednesday – just one gym visit after a month away – I felt a genuine ravening growl. Not hunger, HUNGER.
I have read that part of the struggle in recovering from addiction is that the mode your brain enters under the influence – “drunk”, “high”, etc. – lingers in your brain like a schematic for many months, sometimes a year or more, after. A single drink or hit, which seems so harmless by itself, brings it all back like flipping a switch. So instead of just fighting one drink, you’re suddenly re-fighting the entire war you had to fight to quit to begin with; and you know how hard that is.
I wonder if this hints that the opposite is also true; that there’s a pattern of “workout Nick” still dormant up there. My metabolism might not be back yet, but my brain chemistry recognizes the workout, and is responding in familiar ways.
When I first started the adventure, it didn’t know what I was putting it through – there was just pain and fatigue. But I’ve trained it. It remembers. How wonderful if so.