Ever since I got approved for my high-limit Venture Card, interesting things have been appearing in my mailbox. Invitations to the openings of high-end clothing stores, that sort of thing. Some algorithm out there in the Marketing Matrix has concluded that I have MO MONEY. Since a good chunk of my wardrobe still comes from J.C. Penney clearance sales and the Goodwill, this tickles me. They don’t know me at all, but something about my numbers has fooled them.
I cannot confirm this via Google, but I once heard that Truman Capote said that the reason he preferred the company of rich people is that “they have the best grapes”. It may happen someday that I will actually have money. If so, it is not so bad to get a sneak preview impression of what such people do.
I got a letter from the Wynn Resort in Las Vegas, one of the upper-crust towers on the Strip. My brother once stayed there, and lost his cell phone getting out of a cab in the valet circle, and he says the staff went into full 24 CTU mode – reviewing security footage to identify the phone on the car seat and threatening the cab company with the loss of house business if they did not produce my brother’s phone TOUT DE FUCKING SUITE. Can you imagine the Comfort Inn off the toll road giving such a rat’s ass? These people take care of you, because you’ve got the money to be cared about, damn it.
The letter was offering me two nights (off-season, naturally) in one of their deluxe rooms, including one complementary buffet breakfast for two and two tickets to LE RÊVE, for $300 all-in. LE RÊVE tickets go for about $110 a pop, so this is a dandy package. And you can see the logic – filling up rooms on Sunday and Monday nights in November isn’t as automatic as other times on the calendar, and if I truly am on an upward trend through the tax brackets (no promises there, Jimmy), they want to put a ring on me as quick as they can, in case I have an ongoing appetite for Exciting Gaming Action(TM).
My last 3-day weekend with Heather was Memorial Day in San Diego, and she has never been to Las Vegas. So last night, I called the Wynn to take the deal. I crunched the numbers and realized that I could afford a satisfying vacation for us, provided we decided in advance that there would be little-to-no gambling. And between the show, cultural destinations like the Bellagio Art Gallery, and the idea of a glittering neon A-Z walk down the Strip with my new camera, I don’t think we’ll have any trouble filling the hours.
Now, if I were calling that mythical Comfort Inn off the toll road, this conversation would have taken about three minutes. Dates, smoking or non-, credit card number, toodleoo. But “Rios”, my resort specialist on the other end of the phone, was not in the street quickie business. No sir. I was going to get the full experience.
Of the room, he described my options – the classic, Italian accents in cream colors of the Wynn tower, or the sophisticated mix of contemporary and revived mid-century modern with browns and taupes in their newer Encore tower. He told me how I had a choice of two complimentary upgrades – into an Encore “King Suite” with partitioned seating area and 100 extra square feet, or a “Panoramic View” Wynn room with floor-to-ceiling windows and a guaranteed placement on the 28th floor or higher – which, he confided to me, many of their guests specially request. He even, he said, would put in a note insisting on a Strip view for me. That Rios – I love a man who goes the extra mile for me.
He asked me what I knew of LE RÊVE. I mentioned that I had seen the pictures on the website and read a review or two. He went on to describe the core artistic creators, the architecture of the space, the stunning and unique array of stunts and dancing and entertainment that were combined in the production, and how top seats have been known to sell for $300, and that it is considered “very similar!” to a Cirque du Soleil show. Did I know who the people were creating the show? No – I confess that I am not well-read in the world of combination dance shows/water ballets. But he spoke the names as if they would mean something to me, because of course, I am a man of Taste and Sophistication. And I did not volunteer to talk him out of his assumption. Oh no.
Rios described the twelve rows of seats, and how his personal favorite (as if he’s seen the thing from every chair in the house – I don’t know, maybe he has) is right about in the fifth row. And wouldn’t you know it – he was able to reserve seats in that row FOR ME! In the closest section to the entrance. With an aisle chair – “I like the extra leg room” says Rios. Oh, Rios, you long-legged man, I bet you do!
I was so hot and bothered and this point that I had to will myself away from his offer to make dinner reservations for Heather and I, because the Wynn has like 15 restaurants in it, and I can only take so much excitement.
I think the Wynn is going to be very disappointed by the amount of extra amenities I utilize during my stay. Which is to say – as near to none as possible. But it will only be momentary for them. After all, they’re playing the long game. This seduction isn’t about getting me for one night.
This is an up-close lesson in what luxury is about, and I’m sure it’s not over here. Best grapes indeed. Only it’s not enough to simply buy the best. When you buy luxury, you are also buying the experience of the purchase. You are buying people to describe in luscious detail what awesomely best things you have, and treat you as if you are the awesomely best people for having them.
I hope I am never so insecure. Because nobody needs to tell me about how awesome a Steak ‘n Shake burger is – and they’ve opened one of those in Vegas now, don’t you know.
In conclusion: ROAD. TRIP.